Yowza yowza. All of it is a lot, however that’s not something new since abuse allegations are all the time loads to course of. And now, it appears as if the abusive pot is perhaps calling the kettle black. It’s been a couple of week for the reason that ex of former SeeYouSpaceCowboy frontwoman Connie Sgarbossa (who left the band due to their bandmate’s assist of others with unsavory allegations lodged in opposition to them) shared some personal texts supporting their allegations of abuse. from Sgarbossa, resulting in her to rapidly reply with a couple of tweets. Now, the 2 have launched a joint assertion on the matter.
Sgarbossa shared each of their statements by way of X (Twitter), because the ex requested to remain out of the general public eye. Right here is her ex’s a part of the assertion:
“i do know i used to be discussing the talks of a weblog submit, but it surely doesn’t really feel just like the time to anymore particularly after the whole lot that has transpired – regardless that i’ve been met with overwhelming assist (which i respect greater than you understand). only a heads up that that is tremendous lengthy and most of this may have folks questioning if a baby wrote it because of my lack of care for proper grammar / punctuation and all that jazz:
“in case you’ve been maintaining with what has been happening, then you understand what that is about & if you don’t right here’s the quick rundown. i unintentionally cancelled my ex from her scene in story posts i made on a personal, private account of mine which was not my intention (i perceive why it looks as if it might have been given how lengthy + detailed my tales had been & that i did submit them regardless) however for years i’ve posted various issues on my personal, private account about my ex and nobody has ever screenshotted / shared it, and few reached out to me privately so i did actually assume i used to be venting / expressing my story to the identical followers who by no means shared my screenshots. i actually was shocked, anxious and mentally drained when i noticed the (now deleted) very fast momentum gaining tweet, one of many (now deleted) reddit threads, together with the present reddit + twitter threads & 3 on-line publications.
“i’m an individual with actual emotions. i’m completely no totally different than anybody who follows me apart from i used to be with somebody who had a following and sadly that alone made it so folks thought it was okay to run with my private story from my account that has been completely personal for years and do no matter they wished with it to the purpose it’s apparently now public and other people can do what they need with it. my ex can be an individual with actual emotions, and she or he misplaced completely the whole lot and is seeing first hand what she constructed for 15 years, the group she liked / one which she contributed closely to, the artwork she has achieved, her music profession at the moment + something sooner or later, to the straightforward issues of even simply attending a present – crumble beneath her at fast pace.
“i’m not attempting to achieve sympathy in any respect, neither is my ex, however we’ve got been speaking these previous few days about the whole lot and that is what i’ve discovered & seen in only a few days that i want folks might perceive. i made a mistake in posting that and never leaving it in my private life, fully offline. i take full accountability for that.
“she fucked up loads with me, and we had a really unhealthy relationship on each ends that stemmed from trauma bonding as we began courting a month after her ex girlfriend handed away.
my ex being who they’re means no matter they do, particularly something not constructive, means they’re underneath a harsh public eye. her life is underneath a microscope full of folks ready for her to fuck up or do one thing always, previous to this and through this time. i do know from my very own life has exhausting, unfair at occasions, and dehumanizing that feels – since you’re placed on a pedestal and now should have basically a “excellent” off stage life in addition to a onstage as a result of it something remotely detrimental comes out – cancelled with no likelihood to take accountability or do any actions the group / scene claims to be so “progressive” and “good” at doing. the hardcore scene and any scene my ex was part of is extremely hypocritical to me as an outsider of the scene, as i’m somebody who would quite see somebody take accountability for what they’ve achieved, give them an opportunity to indicate precise change, encourage them to work on themselves & go from there. if it didn’t work and the whole lot stayed the identical, then positive, you confirmed you don’t deserve one other likelihood, however in case you did change, then i’m glad you discovered one thing from these occasions and that you just proceed to not fall again on outdated behaviors.
be trustworthy with your self, as a result of we each are proper now: have you ever ever achieved one thing in a relationship or to anybody on the whole and remorse it? i do. they do.
“how would you’re feeling in case your absolute worst moments had been showcased to the web & truly ruined your life? how would you’re feeling realizing you don’t get one other likelihood it doesn’t matter what you do? i don’t suppose she is an individual who is sweet for romantic relationships, as her actions actually did solely ever affect me – not her music, her profession, her scene or the rest. i do suppose she must work on herself and do a variety of remedy, take accountability, get sober, and never blame different elements for her behaviors.
“as the one who wrote the submit, i believe she doesn’t need to have her life ruined and have the whole lot gone.
“If it was my selection, i might let her again locally, however i might not be in a relationship together with her once more as a result of i really suppose her and that i each being single and therapeutic / engaged on ourselves is the absolute best factor each of us as people can do. since i’ve by no means been a fan of her music / her style as a result of i’ve all the time appreciated the polar reverse music, i shall be supporting her artwork (she did the logos from my model and model merch years in the past) and must revamp them and get new merch designs achieved.
“over the times of us speaking, she has made it clear that she is keen to do something to repair the injury she has brought about, as she already took accountability with me for the whole lot addressed. i’ve forgiven her as an individual as a result of the accountability for as soon as was real and never blamed on something however herself. if i can forgive her, i don’t see why you guys can’t.
“if followers / individuals who simply don’t like her or myself wish to simply hold ripping this aside, we’ve got zero management over what you say or do. the feedback are ridiculously hurtful and most (saying we / her ought to kill our selves, each terrible transphobic remark conceivable, how mentally in poor health we each are – which is simply tone deaf/impolite as a result of it looks as if individuals who have any psychological sickness aren’t worthy of relationships, and so on) are uncalled for
“that’s my assertion and in case you are somebody who despatched me messages supporting me, i actually respect you and it meant loads to me. to those that shared their separate tales about their folks to me, these tales are protected with me and that i respect the belief you place in me. lastly, we’re selecting to proceed to assist one another in each other’s journeys regardless of our breakup and downfall, as a result of we notice each other isn’t excellent. we additionally understand it’s more healthy, not less than for us, to only not harbor anger & resentment particularly if we’re each keen to speak to at least one one other about what occurred. we additionally would each similar to to return to our separate, boring lives and never should hold rehashing this. thanks guys <3.”
This was Sgarbossa’s a part of the assertion:
“Me and my ex have taken the previous couple days to actually discuss by the whole lot we’ve got gone by in our relationship. I’ve taken accountability to her privately for the issues I owe her and we’ve got labored by it privately as a result of she doesn’t need this to be aired out in public. This course of is one thing between me and her. I’ve had a really public battle substances and psychological well being, I’ve achieved a variety of work and gotten clear off many issues since me and this particular person had been collectively and so they have seen that, tho I do nonetheless have work to do on myself and plan to proceed that work by my therapist and psyche and sustaining my treatment. Individuals in my previous and private life have deserved a greater model of me, and that journey of enchancment is one which I do know by no means stops and I’m going to proceed that journey for myself and for the folks I’ve in my life. I do know that this submit is coming many days after this all started, however me and her wished to essentially be sure that we talked by the whole lot collectively earlier than we every addressed this for a ultimate time publicly.”
A multitude, however hopefully this would be the finish of all of it.